Internet Dating Scams: How to Spot, Avoid, and Recover from Online Romance Fraud

Most of us desire long-lasting relationships and romantic love. Yet, our full schedules and cemented routines may leave little room for testing the dating pool and meeting new people. Thankfully, social media and online dating apps and platforms allow us to begin romances without leaving the confines of our homes. 

There are many stories of people who’ve met their soulmates through the Internet. However, there are also numerous stories of Internet dating scams that have targeted vulnerable souls looking for love. 

Since the dawn of the world wide web, Internet romance scams have preyed on unsuspecting individuals searching for true human connection. Sophisticated technology and complex tactics may make these fraudulent schemes hard to detect.

Nevertheless, there are ways that you can spot, avoid, and recover from online romance fraud. 

Understanding Internet Dating Scams

According to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), in 2023, U.S. consumers lost over $1.14 billion to Internet romance scams. Cybercriminals target their victims through a variety of subtle attacks before using manipulation to steal money, identities, and more. 

Being catfished is common for many demographics, but people who are disabled, elderly, or widowed are frequently targeted in Internet dating scams. 

What are Internet dating scams?

Internet dating scams (romance scams) are strategic cyberattacks that use social engineering and other tactics to gain the trust of victims. Typically, these scams involve carefully-crafted and totally fake online profiles to reel people in and gain their trust. 

Bad actors use Internet romance scams to exploit your trust, emotionally manipulate your vulnerability, and may steal your identity or drain your bank account. Romance scams may be short or long-term, and once a cybercriminal has your trust, they’ll make demands for money or your most personal information. 

Traditional fraud techniques use a wide range of scams and attacks to target victims. However, Internet dating scams are far more insidious and can be more harmful as they use trust and love to dupe their victims. 

Why online dating is a prime target for scams

Scammers often target online dating platforms because people looking for intimacy and connection may be more primed and vulnerable to social engineering and manipulative tactics. These cybercriminals build trust and credibility through fake profiles and can cast a wide net to snare multiple victims. 

Online dating apps are extremely accessible, provide a large target audience, and allow scammers to connect with many people simultaneously. The psychology behind Internet dating scams runs deep — scammers look for emotionally vulnerable targets who may not proceed with caution. 

According to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), specific, common psychological methods used by dating scammers include:

• Targeting lonely people who are in a transitional stage of life, elderly, isolated, overconfident, or who have addiction struggles
• Targeting people who show empathy
• Sharing elaborate, unbelievable backstories
• Urgent requests for financial help
• Quick isolation of victims from family and loved ones

Romance scammers might initially “love bomb” their victims and attempt to rapidly gain their trust. And, Internet dating scam activity is on the rise. In the first quarter of 2025 alone, reported romance scams have risen by 20% compared to the first quarter of 2024. This is partially due to the utilization of AI to create complex fake Internet dating scam photos and profile bios.

Common Tactics Used in Romance Scams

Although the nuanced methodology of romance scammers may vary, there are common tactics used in numerous Internet dating scams. You might assume that you would never fall for these schemes, but victims span every background, financial status, and profession. 

According to the Nasdaq 2024 Global Financial Crime Report, romance scams caused a shocking $3.8 billion in global losses. If you’ve fallen victim to a dating scheme, you’re not alone. Increasingly sophisticated cybercriminals use layered, strategic tactics to perfectly craft fake personas.

These tactics include, but aren’t limited to:

• Emotional Manipulation: Online dating scams often involve emotionally manipulative tactics like gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and threatening language to gain control of victims. 
• Fake or Spoofed Profiles: Posing as a notable celebrity or creating a completely fake profile is a common tactic of romance scammers.
• False Intimacy: Internet dating scams often include immediate, ostensibly vulnerable disclosures in order to build trust and prompt victims to open up in return.
• Moving Conversations Off Apps: Scammers who target online dating apps will start their conversations with unwitting targets directly on the app. However, they’ll quickly and consistently urge you to take the conversation offline or suggest you use an app like WhatsApp to continue your chat.
• Pig Butchering: Internet dating scams also often use pig butchering attacks to lure in victims. Pig butchering scams are a mashup of romance, investment, and cryptocurrency fraud. The gross moniker refers to the cybercriminal’s tactic of “fattening up” a target through love bombing and other methods before they slaughter victims by convincing them to invest in crypto scams.
• Phishing: Phishing scams are a widespread tactic used by romance scammers and other bad actors. Internet dating scams may include phishing tactics by deepfaking proof of credibility and sending initial emails, platform messages, or malicious links as bait to reel in their victims.
• Request for Personal Information: Romantic fraudsters will often subtly (or overtly) ask their targets for personal information. These requests may start with seemingly innocent questions like, “When were you born? Where were you born? What are your parents’ names?” and may quickly include demands for bank information, social security numbers, or passwords. 
• Social Engineering: Social engineering (or human hacking) tactics are used in every romance scam. These tactics include initial contact, fake profiles, using social media to bolster credibility, avoiding in-person meetings, and emotional manipulation. 

Emotional manipulation in online dating

Emotional manipulation in online dating is crucial to a con artist’s schemes. Internet dating scams often include flattering messages, love bombing tactics, and vulnerable disclosures. 

Internet romance scams might also include a bogus emergency and an urgent request for money. For example, your online paramour might claim to be stuck in an authoritarian regime and needs money immediately to renew their passport and book a flight to come see you. Or, they may claim that a family member is in dire need of medical attention, but they cannot afford treatment.

These manipulative methods help a scammer to build false relationships and gain victims’ trust, so the requests for money seem more legitimate. 

Common personas used by scammers

There are some common personas scammers use in romantic fraud that are relatively easy to spot. Although some fake profiles may veer away from these characteristics, if your new online dating connection dons any of the following personas, you may be being scammed:

• Celebrities: Most social media platforms have some type of identity verification in place. However, Facebook and X (formerly Twitter) do not offer automatic verification for celebrity profiles. Many celebrities do not participate in social media, and those who do often have a social media manager to post to their accounts. For example, if “Johnny Depp” randomly reaches out to you with an unsolicited invitation to a private message chat on Facebook, you’re probably being scammed by a cybercriminal. Celebrities have millions of followers, and although you may look like a supermodel and have an amazing personality, they won’t reach out to non-vetted individuals simply to connect, and they certainly won’t DM you with a financial request.
• Cryptocurrency Experts: A romance scammer might include exclusive offers or great deals on cryptocurrency investments on their profile page. Once they’ve established a connection with a victim, they may extend an invitation to invest in a “guaranteed” cryptocurrency and ghost you once you’ve made an investment.
• Doctors: If you’re inundated with sudden friend or follow requests from profiles that include stock photos of doctors in lab coats or scrubs, selfies taken by patients’ bedsides, and a bio that reads “American Doctor,” chances are this is a fake persona.
• Long Distance Lonely Hearts: Online connections from foreign countries who are “just looking for love” and came across your outstanding profile out of the blue are often personas adapted in Internet dating scams. For example, South African Internet dating scams continue to rise every year. Both victims and fraudsters are plentiful in South Africa. Romance scammers who claim to reside in South Africa or other foreign locations may ask you for money to schedule a stateside visit, or to secure a passport or visa.
• Military or Other Overseas Workers: Military romance scams are also prevalent on social media or online dating sites. Fake military personas will claim deployment, use vague military terms, and declare their undying love of, and need of money from, their victims. A con artist’s persona might also include extensive overseas travel for work. Internet dating scam photos will feature questionable photos of this person in tourist destinations. These scammers might claim success and wealth, but eventually, will ask you for money or personal information so that they can send you a significant sum. 

Fake Internet dating profiles are strategically designed to deceive and may appear on numerous platforms.

How scammers build credibility and control

Romance scammers usually spend time building trust and credibility before striking. They might groom their victims by connecting on a deep personal level. These fraudsters reach out to you under the guise of “getting to know you” and ask subtly probing questions. 

Dating scammers will offer “vulnerable” information about themselves to get you to trust them. They might even create multiple fake profiles to build a sense of credibility by commenting on their own social media posts, or reaching out to you as a “friend” willing to vouch for your new Internet love interest.

A person or group attempting to scam you through romance might suggest you take your conversation off-platform to avoid moderation and to better control your relationship. 

Red Flags and Warning Signs of a Romance Scam

Although love connections require a level of trust and vulnerability, it’s a good idea to proceed with caution when meeting anyone online. The good news is that there are red flags and warning signs of a romance scam that can alert you to potential con artists.

Signs that you’re talking to a romance scammer may seem obvious, but they’re easy to ignore if you feel like you’re falling in love. Nevertheless, understanding common patterns and behavior prevalent in Internet dating scams can help you to avoid heartbreak and financial ruin at the hands of a romance cybercriminal. 

Recognizing common dating scam patterns

Some common patterns that crop up in dating scams include:

• Refusal to meet in person: If a scammer reaches out to you on a dating app, they may constantly make excuses to avoid meeting in person. You can tell you’re talking to a romance scammer if they claim to be near your location and want to constantly message you, but refuse to meet in person.
• Refusal to video chat or talk on the phone: Most Internet dating scammers avoid video chats or phone calls, too. However, be wary of deepfakes. If an online connection is open to a video or phone call, they may use AI deepfakes to build credibility. Your potential love interest might be deepfaking your video chat if they make little to no movement during the call, or their image is constantly pixelated. On a phone call, if their syntax and intonations seem off, there’s a chance they’re using AI to fake their voice.
• Request for money: An online dating fraudster might not immediately ask you for money. However, they may drop hints about financial predicaments, wait until they’ve earned your trust, and ask for various forms of financial gifts, including gift cards or crypto investments with a too-good-to-be-true return on your investment.

Online dating behaviors that signal a scam

Internet dating scams also involve red flag behavior that might signal fraud. For example, if you’ve exchanged messages with an online connection over a 7 day period, and they tell you that they’re in love with you, you might be the target of a romance scammer.

Despite the sophistication many cybercriminals use to create credible-looking profiles, inconsistent backstories can also be telltale signs of a romance scam. 

For example, a scammer might tell tales of woe about a loved one who needs life-saving surgery. Initially, this person may claim their mother is dying, and then change the story to claim their sister is the terminally ill family member.

Identity red flags often crop up in these schemes as well. For example, a catfishing scammer might claim to be a doctor, but falter when you ask where they practice, what specialized area of medicine they practice, and where they went to medical school.

Platforms Where Online Dating Scams Occur

Online dating scams can target a multitude of platforms and apps. However, most of these scams are perpetrated on dating sites and social media platforms. According to the FTC, in 2022 alone, 40% of dating scam victims were targeted on social media. 

The lack of security measures on social media and the wide range of accessible targets may make platforms like Facebook and Instagram more appealing to romance scammers.

Popular online dating sites and apps used by scammers

Dating sites like Bumble, Hinge, Match.com, OKCupid, and Tinder have all been targeted by scammers. For example, in 2025, a dating scammer on Tinder stole $40,000 from a woman in Portland, Oregon by creating a fake profile, constantly messaging her, and after building trust, asking her for money.

The scammer sent photoshopped images of someone in a hospital bed and claimed to be facing a medical emergency, and sent the woman fake documentation of his illness before she was convinced. After she sent him money, he disappeared from the platform and from her life.

Internet dating scammers thrive on both widely popular and niche dating platforms because the anonymity of users provides a way to hide their true identities, they take advantage of accessibility to a diverse audience, they use technology to create believable profiles, and they target the vulnerability of people searching for connection. 

Social media and messaging apps

Romance scammers may favor social media and direct messaging apps over dating sites as utilizing these platforms requires little-to-no vetting. Although you can manage your social media and messaging security settings and block messages from strangers, if your settings remain “public,” anyone, including complete strangers, can reach out.

Savvy cybercriminals might also begin on a dating site and suggest you move your conversation to an app like Facebook Messenger, Instagram, or WhatsApp to avoid  oversight and security protocols. You can spot dating scam red flags in cross-platform communication through signs like:

• Lack of social media presence
• Declarations of love as soon as communication is moved to another platform
• Inconsistent or poorly written profiles, created after your initial dating site communication

Real Stories of Romance and Dating Scams

Real-life stories of Internet dating scams span all demographics and often, victims are people who never thought they’d be duped. For example, the popular podcast and Netflix documentary, Sweet Bobby, shares the story of Kirat Assi, a successful BBC radio host who spent eight years in an online romantic relationship with a fake persona before discovering he was not who he claimed to be.

The most well-known U.S. victim of a romance scam remains Manti Te’o. Te’o is a former NFL player and collegiate Heisman trophy finalist who believed he had an online girlfriend who passed away after a battle with cancer. Unfortunately, Te’o’s tragic loss turned out to be a scam. The football player had been catfished.  

First-person accounts of falling for a scam

The financial toll of a romance scam may vary, but the emotional toll and heartbreak a successful scam perpetrates is universally devastating. First-person accounts of online dating scams can help others avoid romance predators, and save people from falling victim to devastating emotional and financial losses. 

Thankfully, some romance scam survivors have publicly shared their stories to help others who’ve experienced similar situations. For example, a Connecticut woman who lost over $1 million after being targeted through online dating has publicly shared the red flags she missed to help increase awareness and to save others from the same fate. 

Romance scams in the news

Manti Te’o’s experience with a romance scammer was uncovered by Deadspin just as he was preparing for the NFL draft. Reporters fact-checked the story of Te’o’s dead girlfriend, and found blatant discrepancies, leading to a very public dating scam scandal. He faced mockery, decreased draft stock, and emotional betrayal, but has since released a Netflix documentary, Untold: The Girlfriend Who Didn’t Exist, to share his experiences.  

Unfortunately, another high-profile romance scam ended in tragedy. Three Chicago-area residents were part of a romance scam network, and their victims included 57-year-old Laura Kowal. Kowal, a widow and retired healthcare executive, thought she’d connected with a man named “Frank” on Match.com. 

In reality, scammers from West Africa, with help from the Chicago-area defendants, created Frank’s profile and duped Kowal out of almost $2 million. The scam was uncovered after Kowal’s untimely death led to an investigation. Her drowning death is allegedly tied directly to the actions of the scammers.

Law enforcement treats online romance scams seriously. Agencies can track international dating scams through interagency cooperation, analysis of cryptocurrency transactions, reverse image searches, and thorough online investigations.

How to Avoid Online Dating Scams

Thankfully, there are steps you can take to protect yourself and to ensure you don’t fall for an online dating scam. Understanding how to spot the red flags of romance fraudsters and keeping your guard up with a virtual stranger can help, too. 

Best practices for safe online dating

You can protect yourself from online dating scams by adhering to best practices on dating sites and messaging apps. Best practices include:

• Avoid off-platform communication
• Don’t link your dating profile to your social media accounts
• Don’t fall for love bombing and other psychological tactics
• Limit the personal information you share with a connection
• Never send compromising photos of yourself
• Refusal to send money to a stranger
• Set healthy boundaries 
• Verify a person’s identity by asking for an official government photo (eg. driver’s license), cross-check with a public database, or ensure you’re using a dating site with a thorough user vetting process

Tools and resources to avoid scams

Along with looking for red flags in Internet dating profiles, there are a vast number of tools and resources you can utilize to avoid scams, including:

• Public database searches 
• Reverse image searches
• Limiting communication to a secure on-platform messaging tool
• Search scammer name databases  (including the Better Business Bureau’s scamtracker database and the Global Scammer Database)

What to Do if You’ve Been Scammed

Internet dating scams can target the savviest daters among us, and given the right circumstances, anyone can fall for the sophisticated attacks of a romance scammer. Thankfully, if you’ve been scammed, there are steps you can take to mitigate the havoc wreaked in your life.  

Steps to take after a romance scam

As soon as you realize that you’ve been scammed, block and report the scammer to the dating site administrators and if necessary, to your local law enforcement. Keep screenshots of the scammer’s profile and copies of the messages you’ve exchanged with the scammer.  

If you have proof and documentation that you’ve been scammed, including financial transactions and communication records, share with administrators and law enforcement. You can also file a complaint with the FTC and the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center.

Emotional recovery from dating scams

The significant emotional devastation you might experience after an Internet dating scam can leave you picking up the pieces of your heart and wondering how you can heal. You are not alone. 

You can join support groups such as FightCybercrime and the Cybercrime Support Network (CSN) to receive emotional support and help in recovery. Participating in romance scam prevention, like World Romance Scam Prevention Day, can help to raise awareness and provide help for others.

You might choose to publicly share your experience to help other victims know that they are not alone, and there are people who can help them recover. 

If you’d like to learn more about the red flags of Internet dating scams and how to protect yourself against romance scammers, visit What Is My IP Address and be sure to check out our Easy Prey podcast and our blog to discover more cybersecurity tips.