Tech Tips So You Can Be the Final Girl
Imagine you’re in your favorite slasher flick. You are on the run from Michael Myers or Jason. What do you do? We all think we have what it takes to survive a horror movie. We yell at the screen. We share our strategies. We think we’d totally make it to the end. But when the adrenaline is pumping and there’s a supernatural slayer on your tail you may not be so quick to clap back. With new and developing technology there are plenty of life-saving gadgets that can get you to the sequel.
Throughout horror history there’s the trope of the Final Girl. She’s the chosen one. Her ingenuity, purity of spirit, and pure luck get her to the end of the movie to beat the villain. Jamie Lee Curtis, Neve Campbell, and Heather Langenkamp have all survived their film franchises and made horror history. But with new tech comes new responsibility. There’s so much out there that can help you shut down a slasher. What are life saving gadgets and tech tricks for the Final Girl on the go? And by “go,” running for their life from a masked madman.
In horror movies, you have two choices. Are you the first girl to die or are you the final girl? The first girl gets sacrificed to the horror gods. She’s the one who ignores common sense. She runs up the stairs. She keeps answering the phone, door, or creepy disembodied voice. In Scream, Drew Barrymore died first and worst. In Friday the 13th Part 2, Alice (Adrienne King), the only survivor of Camp Crystal Lake was the first to die. But the final girl is different. She’s the girl who makes the smart decisions. She doesn’t give into the peer pressure. She makes the smart choices. She would totally be the gal with the gadgets.
New technology means new ways to battle the things that go bump in the night. It’s no longer just a babysitter armed with a wire hanger. Between smartphones and smart houses, tech savvy teens can disarm would be attackers or at least flee with ease. So what are the best gadgets to get you to the end of a horror movie?
The Leatherman Tread Bracelet (Affiliate Link)
The Leatherman is one of the definitive multi-tools. Whether you’re in IT, engineering, or even the arts this tool is a must. The various heads and attachments ensure your needs are covered. But this wearable version of the popular tool allows you to accessorize while strategizing. If you stay ready you don’t have to get ready. With 29 unique tools you have at least 29 solutions to life threatening situations. You can use the multiple screwdriver options to build traps or get out of tight binds. It features hex drives, box wrench options and even an oxygen tank wrench. It has a carbide glass breaker that could come in handy to break a window. Plus, its discreet look will keep the killer in the dark. It also doubles as a hand-to-hand combat weapon.
While not totally technical this little baby can keep you from being held captive. It’s able to cut it’s way through wire, rope, and twist ties. Granted, a slasher may not take the time to hold you hostage. But if the Saw movies are to be believed you may need to have a way out of a tight spot from a psycho killer or stalker.
Schlage Encode Smart WiFi Deadbolt
The last thing you want is a prowler in the house. You also don’t want to be locked inside with him (or her). With a Smart Wi-Fi deadbolt you can make sure the door is locked without having to stupidly go check. That’s the fastest way to get stabbed, decapitated, and otherwise turned into a corpse. This Wi-Fi deadbolt also works with Alexa. Your new horror movie would be: get a weird call or hear a weird noise. Use your phone or Alexa to lock the doors and alert the authorities. You live another day. Simple as that.
Philips Hue Lily White & Color Ambiance Outdoor Spotlight
The killer in the movie relies on the element of surprise. Imagine how quickly you could best them if you could just turn on the light. These app-controlled spotlights could help you see who is out there without having to run to the window. What an easy way to flip the script on your would-be killer by turning on the light at just the right time. Plus, given their petite size of these spotlights, odds are, your assailant would not even notice them. Once shocked by the sudden burst of light you could turn the tables and turn your stalker into the stalked.
While Dallas Bryce Howard famously ran through the entire Jurassic World in heels, the wrong shoes could get you killed. Untied laces, broken heels, and tripping could be the reason you get murdered. The DigitSole Smartshoe can be tied and tightened with an app. It also features 2 USB ports to charge your devices. If you’re on the run from a killer, being able to charge your device on the spot and being able to jump into a smartshoe could be a lifesaver. While this show is still in development you can’t really beat a shoe that can charge your devices.
Tesla Model S
How often do horror movies begin with someone making a misguided stop at a sketchy gas station. It was hilariously lampooned in Cabin in the Woods. The Tesla Model S is electric which means you can never struggle running out of gas. You are able to take advantage of fast acceleration and fast charging to get yourself to safety as quickly as humanly possible. Plus, you can relax and let the car’s autopilot take over while you recover from the trauma of running for your life.
These are just a few of the devices, gadgets, and tech that could turn you from the first one to die to the person who makes the film franchise. Who doesn’t want to make it to the sequel? The thin line between nameless victim and horror hero is paved with smart choices and quick thinking. Plus, now you know why a stop at The Sharper Image may help you survive.
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