How to Stay Entertained While Self-Isolating During the Coronavirus Crisis
So you’re self-isolating while trying to balance work, home, and in some cases school all under one roof without losing it. At least you can take comfort in knowing that even though you may be isolated, the rest of the world is staying home and getting cabin fever too.
Day one and two probably felt good–you experienced some down-time and got to avoid people at work you don’t feel like seeing anyway.
Day three and four: you’ve received hundreds of emails from establishments you either don’t care about or have no recollection of having any affiliation with informing you of how they’re handling coronavirus. Your first task is to use this free time to Kondo your inbox. You’re feeling super-productive. And now you’ve killed the first hour of your day. And you’ve got…23 hours left.
Well, here are some more fun ways to pass the time and keep yourself entertained while you’re not watching CNN, reading the paper, and kicking yourself for not going to Costco months ago to buy a metric ton of Cottonelle.
NextDoor Rabbit Hole
Nextdoor.com (aka Twitter for old people) was started as a way for neighbors to connect with each other, but it has become a breeding ground for nosey parkers, whiners, and just garden-variety obsessors.
Luckily, Jenn Takahashi, the brilliant mastermind behind the @bestofnextdoor Twitter account is keeping tabs on all the NIMBY’s who bitch about people camping out in RV’s on their street, the gentleman who expresses burrito outrage in ALL CAPS, and Atticus the cat, who has been peeing in all his neighbor’s gardens.
And there is this grandpa rant from Reddit:
Mat Johnson sums ND up nicely on Twitter:
My neighborhood Nextdoor board used to be just people complaining about dog sh*t. Now it’s people sharing vital information, and offering to volunteer to help vulnerable residents, and also still complaining about dog sh*t.
YouTube Rabbit Hole
YouTube is a wonderful timesuck that is a fun way to enjoy snippets of entertainment if you are still pretending to work and just need a five-minute breather. These are just a few of the videos out there that we love:
SNL’s Microsoft Office Assistant J.K Simmons
Pushie the push pin (Bobby Moynihan) comes to life and completely freaks out futty-dutty J.K. Simmons, as he tries to type up a letter on Microsoft Word. It turns out getting rid of Pushie takes some pretty extreme measures.
If you want to learn a thing or two (or just feel bad about yourself), watch Jimmy Kimmel interview 5-year-old genius Arden Hayes who can retain more information than pretty much anyone alive.
There’s nothing like the all-American fun of enjoying watching a dozen Instagram models vie for one vapid software sales executive’s attention on the Bachelor. This season 21 recap offered up by one of the former contestants sums up the craziest moment, including Corrine tossing her bikini aside, Corinne likening herself to Abraham Lincoln and Michael Jordan, and Corinne scouring the Bayou for a Haitain priestess who could help her create a voodoo doll to eliminate the competition.
Fun pranks around the house
If you’re a prankster and you’re looking to step up your game from crazy glue on the toilet seat, look to some of these creative pranksters who managed to have a little fun at the expense of others in captivity.
The man responsible for a joke WhatsApp audio clip that claimed the Ministry of Defence was about to requisition Wembley Stadium to cook the world’s biggest lasagne has said his viral success also shows the risks of believing everything that gets sent to you on the messaging service.
Billy McLean, a 29-year-old Londoner who works in software sales, came forward to the Guardian to identify himself as the creator of the much-shared clip mocking the coronavirus misinformation and rumors that have spread over WhatsApp in recent days. The best part of the audio is at the end, after confirming that the government’s plan to make this Wembly-size lasagne to drop via drone to people all over London so they won’t starve, McLean agrees it is “obviously quite sensible.”
One unsuspecting sleepy husband walked into the bathroom to find this surprise:
Remember Jesus in the tortilla chip? Hey-that was real! One idle Santa Monica writer co-isolating in the Valley with her boyfriend passes the time staring at the granite tiles in her boyfriend’s bathroom, seeing different images on the bathroom floor every time.
Remember that movie where Amy Adams decides to make all the recipes in Julia Child’s first cookbook? We could all do that! Although be warned, the amount of butter and heavy cream required is not for the digestively challenged. Also, given the limited amount of exercise people are getting, it’s kinda like setting out on a mission to pack on as many pounds as possible in one month’s time.
However, there are literally thousands of recipes to access online, and whether you’re an accomplished cook or an absolute beginner, you might find it’s a fun, productive way to pass the time. These are a couple of awesome memes to get you through your cooking experiments:
When all else fails, there are internet cats. Why, one wonders, are people so obsessed with cats? Maybe it’s the way they’ve so expertly mastered parkour in your kitchen. One psychologist posits that feline confusion with modern life represents our own struggles. Um, maybe? Or maybe it’s just that combination of their cute, fuzzy, adorableness and their not giving a fu#* demeanor. At any rate, here they are, the latest and greatest in internet cats–you’re welcome.
If you’re wondering why it’s been so challenging to work at home…
And, the piece de resistance: Don’t let your cats watch anime
Finally, now that we’ve been sitting on our glutei maximi watching videos and binging on Netflix while eating super-rich food, these are some great exercise videos we can all do at home that will keep you entertained while you workout.
Sweatin’ to the Oldies II!
Though aerobics may be out of fashion for several decades now, getting your exercise groove on with these high-waisted 80’s outfits and music that feels like a Brat Pack soundtrack can’t help but make you smile. If you’re too young to remember Richard Simmons, his eccentric, flamboyant personality and infectious energy is way more fun than any super-serious core workout, and way more realistically attainable than CrossFit. So get your red tracksuit on and get in gear!
If you love to dance, put on your dancing shoes and get your freestyle thing on while no one (except maybe your bored neighbors across the way) can see. Check out Chadwick Johnson’s COVID-19 Quarantine Party on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1Tn6OrkJhOYO5u6y16erqB?si=gk8fyhyxTluxONwW7vAeIg
When you’ve got your routine really down you can make an awesome Tik Tok video like Perry Edwards and Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain:
Now that you’ve accomplished all of this amazing COVID-19 self-isolation home entertainment, it’s time to kick back and binge on the first three seasons of Breaking Bad to relive those tense times with your favorite meth-cooking chemistry teacher. You can mix up a shaken-not-stirred quarantini–it’s a great way to spend an evening while stuck at home. And remember this too, shall pass.
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